True Beauty

I stayed up WAY too late last night catching up on shows I missed on ABC.com. There was a reality show that I had forgotten about, that I wanted to see, called “True Beauty”. The premise is that these 10 people are competing against each other for $100,000 and a spot in People magazine, as the most beautiful person in America. The twist is that they don’t realize that they are also being judged for internal beauty. I’m curious how this will play out, because what I saw from each of them, was repulsive. I sort of wonder if they are encouraged to play up the cockiness, because I can’t imagine anyone actually saying the words that came out of their mouths and be serious. A couple of them expressed insecurities growing up and I suppose that when we feel bad about ourselves, it’s somewhat healthy to give ourselves positive messages, to lift our selves back up. This subject has been a struggle for me for years being that I’m in the business of creating beauty. I love that I can do things to make people feel better about them selves. I think a great hair style and color can give us a boost. I think great clothes and shoes do that for people as well. I had to come to terms with this a few years ago, when I was feeling like my profession was so worthless. It’s not “life changing”. I realized though, that it can be. If someone gets an emotional boost from a physical change, then they are hopefully more productive and can change the world. What bothers me about my business , is the superficiality of it. I hate that we even worry about our appearance. I hate that how our clothes and hair and skin looks even matters. No matter how much I hate it, it will never change. People are judged for their appearance first and foremost. Rarely will someone be given a chance to express their beautiful character, if there is something unappealing on the outside. My husband tells me that he thinks thin salesmen make more money than heavy ones. Is it because people see the heavy ones as sloppy, or lazy? Or is it that when the salesmen themselves
think they look good, they can reach out more easily and make things happen? Maybe a bit of both.
Before I met my husband, I dated a lot of really great guys, but I couldn’t find my self physically attracted to them. They met a lot of emotional needs, and so often I wished I was blind, so I could not have their appearance to me even be a factor. Although, that brings me to the next issue …what we consider beautiful in other people is not the same for everyone. When I met John, I thought he was one of the hottest guys I had ever seen. His childhood gal pal thought
that was so strange. I guess she viewed him differently. What I saw 1st that I was so drawn to was his strong Dudley Do Right jaw line. According to programs that I’ve watched about the science behind what we’re attracted to, that’s a very common allure because it symbolizes
masculinity and virility and because our nature is to procreate, we look for attributes that can promote that. John on the other hand was insecure about his jaw line because he dated a girl that told him he could get it surgically altered. I guess in her mind it was too big.
When I was newly divorced and out on the prowl, I felt jealous that my blonde girlfriends were getting more attention than I was. I felt I was prettier or at least as pretty as they, but they were getting a lot more drinks bought for them. I went blonde and felt like I was getting noticed all of the sudden. It could be that I was projecting my self differently because of my impression of how I looked. I went out with a guy, who saw a picture of me as a brunette and told me he liked that better. I kept the blonde hair any way and after John and I were married a while, I went back to the chestnut locks. John has never criticized my appearance, but after I dragged it out of him, he admitted years later that he wasn’t fond of the brown. After some time of analyzing this, I’ve decided that gray hair is God’s gift to soften our appearance. As we get age spots and wrinkles, dark hair casts shadows and emphasizes these flaws. This is assuming that God would concern God's self with such things. I guess it's part of the human condition to have a need to adorn our selves in some way. I'll stay blonde for the time being.
I may continue to struggle with the importance of beauty. In the past both my parents and some of my friends have said hurtful things (unintentionally I'm sure) to make me realize how important appearance is. I can choose to ignore it or not worry about it and develop my internal character, but I don’t know that society will ever change. We value this. I’ve heard it said that most people are worrying more about themselves than what you look like but I’ve heard the catty remarks from people I wouldn’t expect to hear them from. I’ve done it too. I guess we think if we criticize someone’s appearance it elevates us, but it really is an ugly trait. I hate that this is of value, and yet, I hate that I’m aging and everything is breaking down and so I try to hide that with blonde hair and makeup. The people I prefer to be around are the ones that don’t seem to be hiding anything they just ARE and they are beautiful. I prefer to be around funny and smart people, so why do I feel so compelled to enhance my physical appearance?

I’ll end this with one of my favorite poems…

For attractive lips, Speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, Seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, Share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, Let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, Walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.
As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a Woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she knows.And the beauty of a woman, with passing years only grows!